Moving Pass the Feeling of Defeat

/ mrlamarkb / Leave a comment

Happy Wednesday Fam! I pray that everyone is well and staying safe. I just wanted to share something that has been on my heart and that I deal with from time time. Yall see it already. “Feelings” yup we all have them us men included. Often times I find myself in my own thoughts of being overwhelm with so much to do, so many ideas, wanting to help this person and that. I often would just curl up and sit in the house and not do a thing. Now of course we should be in the house lol but I’m referring to not being productive and feeling sorry for myself. Seems like it’s so quick to slip in but it starts subtle and before you know it, you’ve spent 3 days in a funk and haven’t did anything and don’t even know why, but you feel defeated like you’ve lost and you don’t know why. If you can relate then I want to encourage you on today. This was just me on yesterday. I have 5 things that you can do to help you move along out of these bumps in the road.

1. Be ok with not knowing the end and not understanding the outcome

This one is one a huge for me. I’m an over thinker and often want to know and see the end before I even start it and if it’s cloudy or can’t be seen I will not start it or deal with it. I think it comes with being a perfectionist and not wanting to fail at the things that I do But we must be ok with not knowing the end. That is the beauty of life. You have to go through things to gain understanding and knowledge. Book knowledge and youtube vids are good resources but sometimes you have to actually go through it yourself so that you can experience it up close and personal. Here, you’ll learn things about yourself, you never knew and if you fail, you’ll learn what not to do and what works.

2. Talk it out

I have a hard time explaining myself to people and being vulnerable and letting folks in. Now be mindful, you don’t have to go around telling everybody your business but pray and ask God to place those people who will help build you and who can help you get through that you’re going through. God has blessed me with some amazing friends whom I’ve adopted as family. Yesterday, for example, I felt so defeated and I felt like I was completed stuck in neutral. I happen to be texting one of my good friends and was telling him about how I was feeling. He instantly encouraged me to keep pressing on. It was those simple words that I read that got me up and back at it. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that fire us up and motivate us to keep on pushing. So yes, talk it out, express yourself. Sometimes you just need to get it off your chest and off of you

3. Find your motivation! What is it that brings you joy or that takes your mind away from your current situation

So yesterday while I was feeling defeated and stuck. I simply jumped on the keys (my piano) and started to play. After 5 minutes I started to become overwhelmed with a feeling of Joy and Peace. I had played myself happy and restored myself back to life. After that I went to the gym and completed my day. It was like God had smiled on me and I had got back on track where I needed to be. I encourage you to find that thing that puts your mind at ease. If it’s reading a book or calling up a friend to talk. Just do it and keep moving on.

I hope this helps when you’re having those low moments Be blessed!

Why We Must Stay a Student

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Hey Family! I hope that all is well with you and that we are plowing through our week and achieving our goals and getting closer to our dreams.

I wanted to share with you this quick tidbit. I wrote this message in my phone a couple of weeks ago and it stuck with me. You might ask, what is he talking about from the title. We often take being a student being associated with being in school or college but I want to dive deeper and take it to our everyday lives. With the world constantly changing by the day, it is very important that we keep our eyes and ears open to knowing what’s changed and what is changing and what’s next to come. I could remember like it was yesterday. Picture it, turning on the computer and waiting for that connection to go thru via Dial up, and waiting to hear those three words, “You’ve Got mail”. Crazy right! Do you remember? Having to lose out on talking on the phone because you were wanting to go online to play your favorite game or to look something up. Now of course, our internet has changed for the better and we are instantly and sometimes always connected now because we have designated lines and signals just for internet. So why must we stay a student? I have 3 Reasons why we must stay a student. I’ll keep it short and simple for you. Let’s go

1. We must stay a student because Technology changes and will change

I remember back in the day you had to actual go to the place to pay your bill or call in and pay your bill. Now that is becoming more and more obsolete. Bill pay online has become the new norm. Even having an email address is not optional. You cannot operate a smartphone in 2020 without having an email address. With that be said… we must make it our business to be open to learn this new technology so that we don’t get left behind. So every so often you should sit down and listen to a tech reviewer on youtube or open up a book to learn the latest trends in tech so that you don’t get left behind. I remember when you booked a hotel you were given the room that the hotel assigned for you, but now you have the choice of actually picking out your room, and now you even have the option to use your phone as the 🔑 to get in. Stay a student and keep learning all that you can .

2. We must stay a student because you don’t know everything

Say it with me, “I don’t know everything”. I believe that’s the reason why God made so many cultures and different races of people so that we wouldn’t look stale or outdated or just regular. If I only know what it is to come from a African American background then I would never be able to relate to anyone else. Learning and studying culture helps us connect with other people. Not only that we can share our food, our struggles, our victories. It’s a blessing to be able to learn from a different culture. I know we all love Mexican food, me personally am a fan of Italian. The best way to learn how to make these foods and to keep them authentic is by studying the culture and their methods. Study= Student.

3. We must stay a student because there is always something to learn

Have you ever went to youtube and started watching something and another related video comes up and before you know it another comes up and all of sudden you find yourself watching 5 videos when you only wanting 1. It happens to me all the time. I’ve watched locomotive videos, car repair videos, and all sorts of content. What I discovered is that there is always something out there to learn and pick up. I feel that we count ourselves short when we just stick to what we know and never get outside of our box to see how far we could go. Don’t get caught up in the usual or the easy comfortable routine of this is me. Try something new every once in a while. By nature we are creatures of habit and I guarantee if you decide to make a habit of learning something you didn’t know, then you would be on your way to Staying Student!

We Must Self-Care Everyday

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Hey Fam! I just wanted to share a quick nugget with you. We’ve seen these two words show up a lot especially in this season and it really matters that we take time out for ourselves and develop a disciplined self care regiment.

Self-Care is simply caring for yourself in the best way you can. That might be you taking a nap, going to grab a haircut, or making a dentist appointment. I believe that self care should be done daily. We often run ourselves thin and don’t take time inhale, or exhale and I get it. There’s some of us who have families and obligations and we feel that we can’t afford to take a break or even take time off. We must understand that we are not robots or machines, but what’s even funny robots and machines need tune ups and updates too. For Example, cars need oil changes regularly, tires, fluids flushed and when we neglect those things, the car will tend to show it by not starting up, driving hard, or even being sluggish. So say it with me, “We have to self care everyday” . I know for some of us men we think that we are sometimes invincible creatures. Nothing can hurt us and such. I know for me, I’m a person that hate taking meds when I get sick. I rarely liked going to the doctor and always believe that I can just fight it off and it will go away but what I’ve learned is that we must learn to listen to our bodies. Going back to the car, when something doesn’t check out right the car throws up a check engine light. Often times our bodies do the same exact thing, with aches, headaches, loss of appetite. We must begin to learn to listen those signs. If we begin to develop go habits of Self Care then we could live better healthier lives. We could plow through the stress of our burdens and cares by first caring for ourselves. So I want to encourage everyone who reads this to simple take care of yourself and take time out for Self Care. Blessings to you!